Author: Sebastian

Today I am significantly increasing my odds of death by vulcanism, which brings up the inevitable question, what caliber for shield volcanoes? On the summit of Kilauea right now, actually. Staying a bit farther down her slopes tonight at a bed and breakfast. The lava pokery options are not very good right now, as there are no surface eruptions. Right now there’s only vent activity at the crater, and Kilauea’s piping is carrying lava underground and out to sea. A day of hiking, and hopefully not firey death, ahead.

We’ve been following a guide book to Oahu for a lot of our trip. While it has certainly been useful, I’ve found following around filming locations from ABC’s Lost has actually been the better way to get to know the island. Today we did a hike from the guide book. The book describes it as a mild two mile hike (one mile in, one mile out). They describe it as a hike anyone can do. I suppose this is literally true, if you don’t mind a gentle romp through a fragile, naturally pure and beautiful rain forest, don’t mind getting covered in mud, eaten alive by mosquitos, climbing slippery boulders where a slip could mean a plunge to your doom. The only thing missing from this picture were screaming monkeys, which I’m happy about, given that monkeys are evil, and are best dealt with through use of instruments that the State of Hawaii has deemed me too irresponsible to carry.

I’ve hiked enough to know how to deal with muddy, wet conditions, if I’m warned beforehand. But reading it was an improved trail, and we’re in the dry(er) season, I figured my kakis and an Aloha shirt would be fine. Oops. About one third of the way in, I suddenly realize I’m woefully overdressed for the occasion. But not wanting to give up, I trudge on, through the archways made through Banyan tress, slowly becoming more and more soaked with sweat as the air, which is unable to accept any more moisture, fails my cooling system, which is adapted for the dry, african savanna, and not rain forests in Hawaii.

But I continue on, not wanting to give up, and wanting to see this neat, tall waterfall that is the second most popular hike on Oahu. We have to meet Bitter’s grandmother for dinner in a few hours. Surely she won’t mind of I show up with muddy shoes, muddy pants, and dripping enough sweat I’ll look like I went for a dip in the ocean? Maybe I can dip under the waterfall when I get up there. I’ve already swam in one waterfall this week. From a distance I become concerned. Concerned that all I see is a small sliver of water in an awful lot of green. Bitter is starting to look dehydrated, and is having second thoughts about whether the pain is worth the reward, and decides to hang back and let me continue ahead. I’ve been told it’s been a pretty dry year, but it’s rain forest, right? The ground is wet and muddy! Well, down in the valley maybe it’s raining, but I’m not sure there’s enough rain up high to really get the falls moving. Sure enough, I am disappointed when I get there. My tall, gushing waterfall is so anemic, I think if I climbed to the top and peed in the stream that feeds it, I’d probably double its size. But such is nature. I wouldn’t mind so much if the book had prepared me for a muddy, wet, humid, and mosquito infested hike, but it didn’t. I guess the real lesson is don’t trust guide books. And oh yeah, the rain forest sucks. There’s nothing fun, even prepared, hiking in saturated air at 100% relative humidity. I guess that hippy eco tour of Costa Rica I’ve never wanted to take is going to be out then.

Tomorrow is our last day on Oahu. Monday, early, we fly over to the Big Island (Hawaii), and change our itinerary from Lost tours, glider flying, snorkeling, hiking, and historical Hawaii stuff, to astronomy, vulcanology, and coffee farming. It should be an interesting change of pace. It also should be an interesting change of scale. There’s a reason they call it “The Big Island.” Oahu is small. You can generally get anywhere on the island within an hour, not accounting for bad traffic sometimes in Honolulu. But the Big Island would take the better part of a day to circumnavigate. The population density on the Big Island is also much lower, which, after a week in or around Honolulu, I’m looking forward to. Based on lava forecasts, it doesn’t appear I’ll be able to live my dream of poking lava with a stick, but I have to save something for next time. For now I’m happy to be headed to Pele’s playground.

The standard out here seems to be Hawaiian Isles, 100% Hawaiian Purified Water. Now, I usually drink bottled water at home, because Philly water tastes like they stick a dead fish in the pipe ever couple of hundred gallons. Now don’t get me wrong, Hawaiian Isles is good water, but here’s the description on the bottle:

From the rain clouds in tropical skies to the tops of island mountains, then filtered through layers of volcanic rock to a natural aquifer deep underground, Hawaiian Isles water is purified naturally on its journey to you…

It then goes on to describe the high tech filtering they do to the water. But lets go down the list of what water is going to do on Oahu: Start in clouds? Check. Fall onto volcanic mountains? Check. Seep through porous volcanic rock to the water table? Check. Folks, I’m pretty sure this successfully describes the journey the Honolulu municipal water supply makes. How much would you bet?

Hawaii is one of the last states on my list of states that I have not visited. A visit I count as having spent more than a few hours in outside of an airport. Hawaii is definitely one of the more unique states. Most states have other states that are pretty similar culturally, economically, or geographically. I think it’s safe to say that Hawaii has no other state it shares a lot with.

That’s not to say Hawaii is not American. I’ve heard others try to tell me that Hawaii doesn’t feel like part of the United States; that it is somehow foreign. After being here a few days, I don’t share that impression. Hawaii feels like very much a part of the United States to me. They may be unique among states, and culturally very eclectic, but I think it’s uniquely American.

There’s evidence of an extensive military presence, both past and present here. That probably helps a bit in understanding what country you’re in, but I think what’s really American about Hawaii is it’s one of the most genuinely multicultural places I’ve ever visited. I don’t mean the politically correct view of that, so much as this is a place where there is a true melting pot. Everyone seems to be intermarrying and interbreeding with everyone else, such that I’m not sure you could even successfully classify the race of most people here. In Hawaiian culture, that just doesn’t seem to matter, which is the way things should be.

That’s reflected in the cuisine, which is quite worldly. You do have frequent use of tropical ingredients, which would be expected, and the Asian food here is excellent, even at the cheap places, but still quite a lot of fusion. We’ve been trying to eat at places frequented more by locals than by tourists, except for dinner last night, which we had at what was the Sydney Airport Bar in “Lost”. Down on Waikiki, and actually a pretty great bar.

Speaking of locals though, Hawaii is legitimately very cheesy. You’d tend to think Hawaiian shirts, Hula, “Aloha!” and “Mahalo!” stuff was put on for tourists, but they really seem to talk and dress like that. Residents seem to live the Hawaiian stereotypes, or at least some of them Hawaii is also one of the friendliest states I’ve visited. Everyone is nice. Service is great. Even away from the tourist haunts. Hawaiians seem to be genuinely happy people who want to help make other people happy. Philadelphia is an angry, gritty area. This is a happy place. Everyone is laid back. Spend a little time here, and you’ll see why.

Still have more of Oahu to see, then over to the Big Island, where hopefully I can find some lava to poke with a stick. It’s a highly scientific way of dealing with newly encountered phenomena. If I get to poke some lava, I’ll definitely be taking some Aloha back with me.