The True Cause of Gun Violence

It’s time for the Brady Campaign to close up shop. The Violence Policy Center can stop Googling their “research.” CeaseFire PA doesn’t need to put in the miles to drive to Harrisburg anymore. Why? Thanks to the insights of a teenager, we have identified the root problem of irresponsible & criminal behavior with guns.

A Super Bowl party being thrown by teenagers got out of hand in Brookline after fights broke out and a shot was fired, police said.

The juvenile who threw the party at his Creedmore Avenue home on Feb. 6 told Channel 11 News alcohol was being consumed at the party, but that it shouldn’t have been there. …

“If only the Steelers had won, none of this probably would have happened,” said the teen who threw the party.

That’s right, we can solve the problem of violence by making the Steelers win every single game. The shooting couldn’t possibly be blamed on teens who shouldn’t have been having a Super Bowl party with drinks to begin with. It’s also impossible to believe that the teen who fired the gun already had a warrant out for his arrest. A bunch of juvenile delinquents who won’t accept responsibility for any of their actions & view fighting as a reasonable solution to problems – nah, that couldn’t be to blame. It’s all on the Steelers.

7 Responses to “The True Cause of Gun Violence”

  1. Greg says:

    If having the Steelers win every game is price we have to pay for being free of gun violence, then I think we should make the sacrifice.

    It isn’t like there is another team in the state that has a hope of every actually winning a super bowl…

  2. ExurbanKevin says:

    How about we just ban the Steelers?

    – Signed, The Cleveland Browns


  3. Bitter says:

    How about if we just ban professional football completely? A lot of the players are thugs, right? Maybe it’s the sport that causes their bad behavior.

    Specifically, the Steelers have a history of misusing police guns here in Pennsylvania. Ban the Steelers, ban the NFL, I’m okay with any solution.

  4. Carl from Chicago says:

    Misguided and interminable drive to place blame …

    Is that what the people of this nation have come to? Where their second most important pursuit is to place blame, and their first most important pursuit is to ensure that blame cannot point to them or any of their interests?

  5. PT says:

    We’re willing to sign onto this plan

    – Signed, The Detroit Lions

  6. Wes says:

    We don’t care who you ban. We’re still going to win.

    — signed, the Green Bay Packers

  7. Ian Argent says:

    @Bitter, I had forgotten about that article. The headline still gives me a giggle, since I doubt they were partying with a STuG or something like that.