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Jealous of the Pro-Gun Toaster

Mz. VRWC is one lucky bitch. I say that with the utmost love and respect – and jealousy. Our friends at Great Satan, Inc. are the newest owners of the NRA toaster available through the Friends of NRA dinners.

I already know there will be a bidding war at our local dinner in the fall for the toaster that can meet all of your pro-gun bread needs. As I mentioned on Facebook once, there’s not a person in the world who can’t use an NRA toaster. Perhaps you don’t want your toast to be pro-gun. That’s fine, it could be pro-restaurant toast (National Restaurant Association) or even pro-New Deal toast (National Recovery Administration). Of course, Ian Argent then pointed out that it would be unconstitutional toast. But, as I responded at the time, I’d much rather that anyone who truly longs to relive the early days of the New Deal do it via toast than actual public policy.

For you Southeast Pennsylvania people & random New Jersey folks in the area, you can buy tickets to the September 15 event by emailing our committee at bucksnratickets -at- pagunrights -dot- com or calling our committee contact at 267-560-7490 and someone will get back to you. In fact, if enough of you are interested in coming out for the dinner, I’ll see what I can do to put together an unofficial “Snowflakes” table.

UPDATE: We have the first report from Arizona: “Pro-gun toast is the breakfast of champions!”

6 Responses to “Jealous of the Pro-Gun Toaster”

  1. Adam Z says:

    Yes, Mrs. VRWC is one lucky woman for having won that toaster. I will definitely be gunning for that toaster on 9/15. Hopefully the Neon Clock will be available too. Saving up the cash to spend on 9/15…

    • Bitter says:

      I don’t know every game that’s going to be played, but I am assuming that we will have the raffle game where the winner gets to pick an item out of the live auction collection. If that happens, then you can try your hand at that. :)

  2. ExurbanKevin says:

    There’s a “Cold, dead hands!” joke to be made here, but really, if you want to grab a hot toaster with your bare hands, go right ahead…

  3. Brad says:

    Cute. But I like my toast more burnt. For burnt NRA toast a toaster would need to heat the bread in a negative pattern from what I see this toaster doing. Cooler elements so the NRA shows up as lighter colored letters against a dark toast background.

    Hmm… I wonder. What would happen if I drizzled some water on a slice of bread, spelling out NRA before I popped the slice into the toaster?

  4. @Kevin – Those damn dirty toaster thieves!

    The toast is lightly toasted on the logo side and properly toasted on the reverse. We’re still tinkering to determine the optimum settings for white, buttermilk, wheat, and English muffin.

  5. MzVRWC says:

    Bitter, if you find yourself in this neck of the woods again, I promise to make you a pro-gun breakfast.

    I would highly encourage anyone thinking about attending a Friends of NRA event to get on out to at least one this year. The banquets are tons of fun, and unlike casino gambling, there’s a very real chance of winning some great prizes like very nice firearms and/or shooting supplies.

    Bring some cash, play some games, and sleep well knowing that your money supports the shooting sports.

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