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I Need Time Lord Technology

I have never had a more acute need for closets that use TARDIS technology than I will by the end of this next week.  Consider this from Bitter:

Tomorrow the goal is the bathroom and my bedroom.  It may sound easy, but you guys have no idea about my bedroom which has three closets.  That’s going to kick my butt tomorrow.

I have thrown out two large contractor bags full of clothing.  I figured it’s high time to accept that I’m not fitting into the clothes I used to wear right out of college.  That should make a decent amount of room to accommodate Bitter’s stuff.  But also consider this:

On Monday, I drive back to Philly, probably with Christmas decorations in the back.

I don’t know what it is with chicks and Christmas decorations, but every chick I know, even ones that live on their own, have at least a tub’s worth of Christmas decorations.  And that’s not even counting the shoes.  Where are we going to put all the shoes?  This is where the Time Lord technology comes in.  I need some place where we can fit everything, and still have a reasonable living space that looks nice.   This is about the time I seriously regret not buying a house with more storage.

14 Responses to “I Need Time Lord Technology”

  1. Flash Gordon says:

    My four bedroom house on three floors has closets galore and my wife has every one of them full of her clothes. I get one-third of one closet, that’s it. I did get the basement bedroom for my reloading room, though. She has clothes, I have ammo. We’re happy.

    Oh, there is one other benefit. Her relatives can’t come for a visit. No bedroom with any closet space.

  2. Alan says:

    It’s impossible to buy a house with enough storage. No matter how many closets you have and no matter how big they are, the amount of junk you have will increase to fill the space.

    A few years after we bought our house we built a 24’x40′ garage and dedicated the second floor to climate controlled storage. That’s a 960 sq. ft. closet. It’s now full of (her) junk. (And a lot if it IS Christmas decorations for some reason.)

    So you can see, TARDIS-like bigger on the inside closets would be self defeating.

  3. Ahab says:

    You are not kidding about the Christmas ornaments thing – when I moved in with the eventual-Mrs. Ahab, I was shocked to discover that she literally had a giant tupperware thing FULL of Christmas ornaments.

    I had a Mr. Worf Christmas ornament.

  4. jetfxr69 says:

    Dude, WHY are you complaining? I’d put up with triple the crap (materiel) if I didn’t have to get any crap re: FIREARMS. You’ve got it made at this point.

  5. Sebastian says:

    That’s a good point Jetfxr69.

  6. Bitter says:

    I’ve got 3 tubs of Christmas. One tub is gun themed Christmas, the other two are misc. Christmas. They aren’t packed tight because of breakables. But it’s those three and the tree that Bitchy Mom is giving us. This stuff can go in the attic. Of course, to ease poor Sebastian into Christmas, I told him we should have an ATF themed Christmas tree this year. I have the guns and alcohol ornaments covered. :)

    What I’m concerned about is kitchen. My kitchen stuff is 2/3 of the boxes we have. Clothes I can manage because we’re sorting them now into summer & winter. So most of those tubs (larger items, more space in the tub) can go in the loft until fall. But kitchen…oh my. Fortunately, I will arrive with a giant buffet that can store much of it.

    I’m not denying that I have a lot of crap, but I’ve also thrown out lots as well. If only Sebastian could see…I’m even throwing out shoes! You guys would be so proud. :)

  7. Peter says:

    This is something basic to Humanity. Our male ancestors didn’t really need to spend all day out hunting, there simply wasn’t anywhere to sit in the cave.

    And lay off the Christmas ornaments. It can be worse: my Mom has some hand-blown stuff that my uncle (1st Army, Stuttgart) got for a couple of cartons of cigarettes that have become Relics And Heirlooms And Therefore Need Their Very Own Box…..

  8. Mark E says:

    Christmas crap (sorry, ornament) situation gets worse.

    Wait until the “we just have to have our own ornaments” discussion starts.

    Then eventually, you end up with “themed Christmas” ornaments because “the same old ones are boring”.

    And then as both sets of parents decided to do less decorating, we inherited still more.

    We peaked with 3 trees (2 inside & 1 outside) … and still had boxes of stored ornaments that we just had to keep.

    But, I am marrying one daughter off this Fall and another graduates in December so that is two trees worth of crap (sorry, ornaments) that are getting a new home.

  9. Sebastian says:

    But, I am marrying one daughter off this Fall and another graduates in December so that is two trees worth of crap (sorry, ornaments) that are getting a new home.

    And the process begins anew.

  10. Bitter says:

    But if one of those “themes” is ATF with armed Santa ornaments and mini liquor bottles turned into ornaments, can the theme really be that bad? :)

  11. Brad says:

    The Wife(tm) has accumulated a ton of Christmas stuff over the years, and I don’t mind much since the kids help out with setting it up and packing it away. The thing I wish The Wife would take a long, serious look at is the stuff she’s saved from college and high school.

    I keep my college notes and papers in a small, tupperware file box that sits under a desk – it’s out of the way, but it’s at the ready when I need to look something up. She has saved multiple large boxes of material over the years and it’s just sitting in the garage, taking up space. It hasn’t seen the light of day in many, many years. Even if she had to retrieve some notes, she wouldn’t know where to find them. Every so often, we go through the garage, and whittle it down by a couple of boxes, but if she seriously thought about it, she’d realize that we could reduce the amount of load in the garage by about 75%.

    If you haven’t used it, looked at it, or even thought about it in 3 years, then sell it, donate it, or throw it away. Otherwise, it’s a drain on everything.

  12. Bitter says:

    I’ve actually been pretty good about that, Brad. I do have about 4 of those under bed tubs of high school stuff, but that’s stored at my mom’s and not coming with us. In fact, if I ever have to take control of it, I’ll throw out until it’s one tub or less.

    At least Sebastian can be happy knowing that I’m not bringing “the lamp.”

  13. kaveman308 says:

    My 2 cents worth…

    Chicks and shoes and guys with guns. Different inanimate object, same driving factor.

  14. chris says:

    just be glad shes a shooter… imagine if she was an anti and gave you hell every time you wanted to go to the range…

    as for the other stuff… dont even try to fight it, you will loose… just be glad that she loves you enough to move the stuff in with you

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