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Breaking: Wayne LaPierre to Announce Candidacy for Mayorship

Wayne LaPierre, Executive Vice President of the National Rifle Association, plans to soon announce NRA’s next offensive in the struggle against gun control by running for Mayor of New York City.

“We gave this a lot of thought, and have decided the only way we’re going to stop MAIG once and for all is for your NRA to run New York City,” LaPierre said, to a private conference with gun friendly media and bloggers, “The only way to stop a bad guy in the Mayor’s office, is to put a good guy in the Mayor’s office!”

NRA plans to launch a multi-million dollar ad buy in New York to get ahead of potential rivals in the early stages of the campaign.

“We’re going to get out ahead of this thing. We expect our main rival to come at us hard, but we think this early ad campaign will soften him up,” LaPierre said of his likely rival, disgraced former Congressman Anthony Wiener, “by the time we head into the general election, we expect his campaign to be completely impotent.”

LaPierre noted the ad campaign will launch sometime in the next several weeks, after the press conference announcing the candidacy is finally scheduled.

15 Responses to “Breaking: Wayne LaPierre to Announce Candidacy for Mayorship”

  1. Dannytheman says:

    Uh, let me check the date!! 04/01/2013.

    Good one.

  2. Robert says:

    A bit *too* obvious there folks. :)

  3. Dave says:

    I would have thought that Wayne would have thrown his pope hat in the ring to be the next Pope.

  4. Charlie Foxtrot says:

    Gawd, I hate April Fool’s Day. In this crazy world, NOTHING is too crazy to not be true.

  5. Papa says:

    I’ll confess; you had me for about 15 seconds there…

  6. Dave Hardy says:

    He faces stiff opposition…

  7. MichaelB says:

    Knew it was fake when the presser included gun bloggers. :-)

  8. fuzzy says:

    So on a more serious note, I’m all for WLP for head of the ATF as a sign of good faith.

  9. New York Stagehand says:

    Okay…

    With all the weird things that happen in NY/NYC politics, this doesn’t look odd at all. Yes it’s April 1 but we’ve seen bigger jokes earlier this year. Still, I enjoyed it and it MIT just work…

  10. Zermoid says:

    I doubt he could get elected even if it were true, but God, what a great day it would be if he were to be NYC Mayor!

    THAT would be worth seeing!

  11. Lamont says:

    HA HA April fools

  12. There are plenty of April Fools false news items that one says “That can’t be true!” but there are far too few that make one say “I wish it were true!”.

  13. Jdude says:

    I saw the headline and scrambled to find a link to donate.

    Jerk.

  14. James Pawlak says:

    Well, such a contest should EXPOSE something about the candidates.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Of Arms and the Law: Now, this is taking the offensive! - [...] LaPierre announces candidacy for mayor of New York. His opponent, former Congressman Anthony Wiener, pledges stiff opposition. [...]
  2. On a day filled with fake articles (Apr 1), this one made me smile. - [...] [...]
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