It’s a Difficult Thing to Come to Terms With

One commenter on the PAFOA forum in the thread about the Meleanie Hain murder:

I remember reading about her fighting the whole soccor game thing. It’s a shame this happened. I wonder if she just didn’t have a chance to defend her self or if maybe her husband took her firearm and she couldn’t defend herself. Either way this is horrible to hear and she will be in my prayers. RIP

Those could end up being the facts, but I think it’s probably more likely she didn’t have much of an opportunity to defend herself even if she had a gun. Firearms are not an amulet against being murdered, particularly in a domestic situation where you’re not likely going to be prepared at all times to defend yourself against a spouse or intimate partner.

As people who carry, we’d ideally like to think that the gun offers us protection, and it pains us to see someone who carried one for that purpose tragically murdered. But the fact is that it only evens up the odds. It’s not a guarantee. Someone intent on doing your harm can sometimes get the drop on you, and I think few of us, without hesitation, could draw a gun on someone we love.

Sometimes the good guy loses. Even when they are armed. This isn’t Hollywood.

9 thoughts on “It’s a Difficult Thing to Come to Terms With”

  1. I’ve always said that using my brain is my protection. A gun is simply an additional option, one I might find handy in some situations.

    That said, you’re right, shields are usually down among loved ones. The investigation of this case will be interesting to follow.

  2. True enough. A husband should never truly abuse his wife and vice versa, since living together always provides an opportunity to do harm.

    No family member can be protected against another since we love and perforce extend trust.

    That is why a women or man finds it difficult to walk away from years of investment and trust when abuse happens.
    I believe she was also a Christian women that was a strong committment to her faith which would have made it hard to walk away. I may be wrong abou that.

    Never the less a gun helps most against strangers not family.

    This is a great tragedy, the children who are very young, witnessed their mother’s death by their father, a betrayal on many levels. Now the children have no father or mother.

    I will pray for the children since their parents are beyond that now. I personally supported her choices but that really had no bearing on her death other than make her known.

    Rest in Peace Melanie.

  3. +1 when your attacker is a spouse the game changes. When I’m at home and behind locked doors there are plenty of times I’m not armed and ready to go. I don’t sleep with my gun holstered, I don’t shower with my gun on. If I want to have myself a drink I disarm, Also anybody who is in my house by invitation I trust enough to get close enough to me to be a danger….otherwise I wouldn’t allow them in my house.

    If my wife, or a close friend wanted to kill me, and just put a LITTLE bit of thought into it, it wouldn’t take them much to catch me totally flat footed, my guns won’t help if my attack is somebody I trust.

  4. According to Bryan Miller’s “freedom alliance”…

    “Thanks in part to the gun lobby’s reckless agenda, little did Meleanie know that the real danger lurked inside her own home by choosing to bring a deadly gun into the mix for self-protection. ”

    I read this as to say that Melanie’s gun was the murder weapon.

    Needless to say, Bryan Miller has a huge hard-on right now.

  5. Holy shit! I won’t go conspiratorial, just say God bless you Melanie.

    If there is any justice in the universe Bryan Miller will slip on the soap in the shower and drown after breaking his neck.

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