There’s No Shame Left in this World

A grown man called 911, apparently unashamed he is unable to deal with his angry house cat. In the interest of full disclosure, I should note that we are a house divided in regards to pets. I am a cat person, whereas Bitter is a dog person. But despite my affection for our feline friends, if I had a cat that scratched my 7 month old kid, and then couldn’t begin to understand who’s the apex predator in this equation, kitty is going to be in for quite an education. I’m definitely not calling 911 to have someone else come deal with the cat, because that’s just pathetic.

You’re the superior species dude, a hell of a lot bigger, and a hell of a lot smarter, and kitty knows it. If you act like it you’re the boss, kitty is going to back down, trust me. It won’t have to come to either him or you. I mean, hell, a blanket is a fantastic weapon in such a situation if you really want to turn the tables here. How about a laundry basket?

The mind boggles. Really. I hope this is a hoax.

24 Responses to “There’s No Shame Left in this World”

  1. A cat acting as described might well have rabies, which is contagious and transmissable to humans. Restraining a rabid cat without risking infection yourself could be a challenge, even if you are willing to hurt the cat in the course of doing so.

    That said, the followup article suggesting therapy for the cat makes me think it’s a hoax. If the cat is not rabid, it’s clearly sane, and was merely putting down a rebellion from its peasants, who now appear to be appropriately reminded of their place in the heirarchy.

    • Sebastian says:

      I would think if there was suspicion the cat was rabid, that would be mentioned. I wouldn’t blame anyone for calling 911 over a suspected rabid animal. That’s a different ball of wax. If the guy thought the cat was rabid, he sure as hell should have told the first responders that non-trivial tidbit of information.

  2. Richard says:

    I assume you saw (maybe even posted) the videos of people being intimidated by turkeys. We are creating a species that is completely helpless.

  3. Wolfman says:

    Yeah, I doubt this is a hoax. This is Portland. We really have people like this here. Also, we really do have people that will do therapy for your cat, to find out its deeper feelings, m’kay. This city embarrasses me.

  4. Wolfman says:

    Actually, and this is an important distinction- there are those in this country who are creating a totally helpless SUBculture. Outside of the SWPL cities and the Coastal Elite Strongholds, these people seem a lot thinner on the ground. Now, if we can just find a way to get them dislodged from the public view, we could still be all right.

  5. Tony Sawyer says:

    It gives a whole new meaning to the term “pussywhipped”!

  6. Ian Argent says:

    I say this as a cat lover and owner – but housecats (along with felines in general) have a much higher lean to the flight side of the fight or flight spectrum, even the well-socialized ones.

    OTOH, he started with animal services and only after they didn’t respond did he go to 911, and 22 lbs of angry five ends pointy is rather more than a handful to subdue and secure; and even if not rabid, cats claws and teeth aren’t the most sterile things around. Since it sounds like the owner is rather attached to the cat (despite a “history of violence”) he may have wanted a professional to show up to restrain the cat without injury. (Personally, I wouldn’t have called the cops to do that, myself).

    As for therapy, if it was the choice of someone to correct the violent tendencies or get rid of the (apparently beloved) household pet, I’d try therapy too.

  7. Jim Jones says:

    This man isn’t even beta, he’s just downright omega.

  8. Zermoid says:

    44 mag shot capsule loads do wonders for feline attitude adjustment.
    With minimal collateral damage.

    Just Sayin’.

  9. Patrick says:

    It’s not a hoax. Gawd help us.

    My two year old is afraid of our guard geese. One of them poked him in the head last month. So I gave the boy a stick and taught him how to use it for effect. Now the geese howl at him but keep clear. Especially when he has a stick.

    I wonder what the beta male in this story would do if you gave him a stick?

    My two year old would know.

  10. Heather from AK says:

    It’s called a blanket. Use it. Done.

  11. John Smith says:

    Don’t laugh. Have you ever tried to deal with an enraged pussy?

  12. Terry says:

    Does anyone know if the 911 caller had his Man-card revoked recently? That would help in getting to the bottom of this story…

  13. Jim says:

    I too, lean towards the cat side of preferences, but this is ridiculous. Blanket, stat. As properly suggested, above.

    The Missus watches, on occasion, that show “My Cat From Hell”, where the star is an apparently very effective cat behavior expert. Seen him get some excellent results, and he’s out there on the West Coast, too.

    First, fix the cat’s behavior. Then, “fix” the owner. Don’t need him replicating in the gene pool.

    Sunk New Dawn
    Galveston, TX

    • Ian Argent says:

      If you’ll pardon the internetism – ^THIS. Allowing things to get to this point was the first mistake. I’m not going ot speculate on what measures may have been tried prior to calling the authorities, however. Absence of evidence != evidence of absence.

      • Sebastian says:

        He kicked the cat after it scratched his child, after the child had pulled its tail. I can understand a parent being angry, but kicking the cat is what started the situation. In that instance, kitty should have been separated from the kid while they figured out what to do about the situation. My mother, in the same situation, got rid of her cats. She hated to do it, but I wasn’t old enough to understand not to pull the cat’s tail. You can’t blame the cat for defending itself.

        • Diane says:

          Bingo! They were mistreating the cat. That’s the reason cats get nasty usually — they are being mistreated. The dad needs to learn that kicking the kitty isn’t the way to deal with it.

  14. Sebastian says:

    The mistake this guy made is he kicked the cat when it swiped his kid, after the kid pulled the cat’s tail. To me, if I were a parent and cat owner, that would be a reason to get rid of the cat. You don’t kick the cat for being a cat, and defending itself. Sometimes cats and kids don’t mix. But he kicked the cat, which made the cat afraid of him, so it responded with fear aggression.

    The owner needs therapy, not the cat. The cat was being a normal cat. The owner should probably reconsider whether he should own one with the kid. If it were me, I’d make it an outside cat until the kid got old enough to know not to pull the kitty’s tail.

    (I know cat people look down on outdoor cats these days, but I just never saw anything wrong with it. Cats like being outside more than inside. As long as you neuter them.)

    • Ian Argent says:

      That’s a damn good point. And I do blame the cat owner for creating a cat with “a history of violence,” then not dealing properly with it.

    • Heather from AK says:

      Did you see the pictures of the kid’s face? I wouldn’t even call that a scratch. It looked like a little pin-prick.

  15. Was the cat named Putin? And was the caller wearing mom-jeans?

  16. mikee says:

    I had a cat bite through thick leather gloves and my finger when I tried to remove it from my house. I got to wait for the rabies report and nurse a painful deep puncture wound for my foolishness in thinking I could out-tough a cat and control it with my manly grip alone.

    In future, I will not try to handle unknown cats. If they need moving, I will live trap them or noose them, or blanket wrap them if that seems feasible.

    Consider yourself warned.

  17. bobby says:

    When I was much younger, my dog ran away.

    Many years later, my dad told that the dog had actually bitten my mom. Dad then helped the dog get “lost.”