Coalition to Stop Bucket Deaths

Making some wine this weekend, and printed on the side of the high-capacity 8 gallon bucket I’m using as a fermenter is this:

I just can’t believe how insane we are as a society that we allow people to store dangerous buckets like this in their homes. Especially in homes that have children. Where is the common sense? Who is thinking of the children? I can’t understand these selfish wine drinkers who think their need for a cheap buzz outweighs the safety of our children.

UPDATE: Someone on Twitter ponders why I need such a high-capacity bucket. Isn’t 3 gallons enough? Again, where’s the common sense!

24 thoughts on “Coalition to Stop Bucket Deaths”

          1. Between January 1984 and January 1995, the Commission has received reports of 247 deaths and 32 non-fatal incidents associated with 5-gallon buckets. The estimated annual average number of deaths for the years 1990, 1991, and 1992, is about 36, a slight reduction from the annual average estimate of about 40 for the years 1990 and 1991.


            Compare to WSQRS accidental plus intentional deaths due to firearm for the same ages. It’s been a while since I’ve done the math, but I think it takes up to age 5 before they even out.

    1. your wrong when babies read the labels they stay away from those evil buckets its proven. I’m a dad and I got rid of my bathtub and toilets so my toddler wont drown. I also don’t let my children go near sinks, puddles, creeks, oceans, lakes, pools, jacuzzis, fountains,trash cans with even a little bit of water in them, and especially BUCKETS!

  1. Proceed with your normal 5 gallon recipe for your favorite craft beer, but dump half so it’ll fit into a 3 gallon bucket. If it’s a foamy wheat beer that bubbles out, you lose product – but that was bad for you in the first place…

  2. It is not buckets we have to worry about. It is large coolers. Children have suffocated in those things. We need a 15 day cooling period before you can buy one. Who needs a high capacity cooler anyway.

  3. Those are not warning signs. They are user advisories and instructions.

    I am appalled that people are misusing baby-drowners as buckets.

  4. They can have my bucket when they pry it from my cold, dead hands…… or it flies out of the back of my pick-up truck.

  5. Sadly, you’re missing the actual point here. In general, humans are as stupid as half a box of rocks on quaaludes, and NEED to be a) told what to do, b) told WHEN to do it, and c) in general, led around by the hand like a two year old. ALL OF THEM; look around for a while. They’re all stupid arses (and it doesn’t matter if they’re from the hood, trailer, or a suburbanite paradise) It’s all nice and nifty and all to harp on about “liberty”, “freedom” and “personal responsibility”, but INDIVIDUALS are generally hedonistic, unthinking, scatterbrained, erratic, illogical, easily spooked morons. I for one don’t WANT “people” to be responsible for their own actions, because most of them can’t wipe effectively, let alone walk and chew gum at the same time.

    Why do you think that “democracy” is a synonym for “mob rule”, and why it’s never survived as a viable system of government? Why do you think that the “natural order” is actually HOBBS, not Locke? Why do you think that governments ALWAYS invariably tip towards towards authoritarian, instead of libertarian/anarchistic? It’s simple: humans WANT and NEED to be led. Naturally, we’re a herd animal species that has heirarchies. It’s as natural for a mass of humans to listen to one single individual as it is for that same mass of people to ignore the advice of a six year old. Hell, I don’t want bucket warnings, I want BREEDING LICENSES.

    So those bucket warnings serve a variety of purposes. It’s humorous and/or irritating to we few who think we’re better than everyone else, they serve as a point of instruction to the few actually ignorant of that possibility, and it serves as a way of adding a layer of complexity to our already broken “justice” system by giving “Big Bidness X” a way of escaping some liability issues.

    But honestly, what or who do they hurt?

    1. Hypothetically speaking, if it can be shown that those bucket warnings have little to no affect on infant mortalities due to bucket drowning then they should not be placed on there anyways.

      It is safe to assume that it is a non-zero cost to print those labels on those buckets. And if they serve no purpose other than to make us chuckle, then by all means don’t bother printing them on the bucket. Pass the savings onto the bucket buyer.

      1. Actually, the printing costs per bucket would be the same whether or not it’s there, so from a consumer perspective it’s a wash either way.

        From a taxpayer perspective it’s a cost, since it’s an OSHA-approved standard warning. But OSHA would be around making things like this whether or not it was this particular label, since it MUST for the COMMON GOOD. Sadly, while humans are ignoramus mouth-breathers, corporations have proven themselves to be WORSE holders of the public trust. Until you can trust Big Whatever, Inc. to not grind your grandmother’s bones into a fine powder to sell to posh old ladies, they have to have even MORE oversight than the common, ordinary dimwit.

        And from a Big Bidness perspective, it’s a GOOD, since it’s akin to a liability waiver. If you can’t sue “The Man” then he doesn’t have to worry too much about killing you.

        So….since it’s a net GOOD from the perspective of the only “people” who actually matter (those Mega Corps with Big Money) the labels shall stay. Hooray!

  6. common sense

    The question that always intrudes into my mind is; has she ever bothered to read it?

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