Jonas is the Suck

After Bitter dragging me to go see the movie of the concert adaptation of the English translation of the musical adaptation of one of Victor Hugo’s novels, all I have to say is that Nick Jonas sucks. Hear me screaming teenage girls? Your teenage heart throb is a shitty stage singer. You don’t stick a pop singer on the stage with classically trained opera singers and not expect him to bring the whole performance down a few levels. The kid has no stage presence, and he has a weak voice. He doesn’t have a bad voice, compared to most boy band phenoms, but there were more than a few moments I wanted to send a TSA agent up on stage to grab his junk and scream “Sing, damn you, sing!” I couldn’t hear his mincy little voice over the women singers, let alone over the men and the orchestra, and his ability to hold a note was not only disappointing, but downright criminal considering the material.

I have never seen a better Valjean than Alfie Boe, and Norm Lewis, who currently stars in the stage version in London, is quite enjoyable as Javert. An excellent cast, except the Jonas creature. Having the teenage girls who came to the theater scream every time Jonas moved his lips inaudibly on stage only added to misery of his presence in this performance. The producers of Les Miserables probably figured they needed to mint a new generation of fans, so they can milk this franchise for another 25 years. That’s fine. I’m not against capitalism. But I am against pop stars with weak voices playing Marius. My only hope is that in a few years when those girls grow up, they’ll go see someone who can show them how the part of Marius is properly performed.

That is my critical review of Les Miserables 25 Anniversary Concert. We now return to our regularly scheduled gun blogging.

7 Responses to “Jonas is the Suck”

  1. Shawn says:

    I have always despised those disney “musicians”. And most if not all these pop music kiddies that have no real talent and whose fanbase comprises mostly of pre-teen or early teen girls that don’t know what real music is. Eventually these little girls may grow up and figure out they have had all this adoration for hacks, who’s only reason of being popular is corporate giants throwing untold amounts of money to tell you they are popular and talented. Its sickening because the the industry while promoting these idiots ignore or stomp on so many other groups and individuals that have real talent and can write their own music.

    Norwegian black metal is a more valid form of music than this crap.

  2. Sebastian says:

    I don’t think Jonas is talentless. He has a nice voice… for pop. It was a live performance, and he’s got a good singing voice, just not for the stage. Back years ago when New Kids on the Block were the big boy band, and my sister was a huge fan, she put on a live concert, and I couldn’t get over how awful they were compared to the recorded performances. I think Nick Jonas has more talent than your average boy band pop star. Just not enough of a voice to be a stage performer.

  3. ‘I think Nick Jonas has more talent than your average boy band pop star. Just not enough of a voice to be a stage performer.”

    This. For that matter he basically writes all the stuff for the Jones Brothers and has his own separate pop band on the side. Not that I’ve listened to any of this, but if you’re going to pick a Jonas brother to be the “talented one” all fingers point to Nick.

  4. Ace says:

    In defense of pop singers in stage musicals, I’d like to point out Deborah Gibson who played Eponine on Broadway (and later went on to lead roles in Grease, Beauty and the Beast, Cabaret, and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, among others)

  5. Sebastian says:

    There are pop singers that have the voice for stage, and to be fair to Nick Jonas, there are roles he could probably handle on stage, but not Marius in Le Mis’. He’d have to take acting lessons though.

  6. Defense of pop singers aside, if I were putting on a stage musical, the pop music world would be my stop for extras.

    The talent might come from the heavy metal genre.

  7. Justthisguy says:

    Well, Sir I do hope that any differences between you and Bitter were settled with hot rowdy monkey love,