In the same interview where he advised people to randomly shoot guns in the air and violate discharge ordinances, Joe Biden told everyone that citizens aren’t allowed have tanks under the law. We already know that’s not accurate, but the Wall Street Journal decided to have some fun with this topic and actually profile tank owners.
Tank brokers—yes, there is such a thing—estimate there are several hundred to 1,000 private tank owners in the U.S.
Not only is it legal to own tanks, there’s an entire market for them with brokers. Awesome. Why would anyone want a tank?
When their insurance agent inquired about their plans for the tank, the Neal brothers emailed back, “We are going to use it to take over the world.”
Says Ken Neal, 45: “A tank is cool.”
For anyone who think these two tank owners are an insurrectionist threat, their efforts toward world domination have only managed to extend to driving their 1966 British Chieftain over a rusty car in the desert. Another tank owner talks about the lifestyle challenges:
He says he has put about $280,000 into his Sherman so far and expects to spend as much as $75,000 more. “You get a tank, you end up with an ex-wife,” warns Mr. Miller, who has one of each.
If Sebastian bought a tank, I would never, ever leave him. I’d probably jump up and down and hug him at the news. The WSJ also highlights their value as investment pieces:
In 1993, a top-notch Sherman went for $75,000, according to the Illustrated Tank & AFV [Armored Fighting Vehicle] Buyer’s Guide. Now Dave Uhrig, a Chillicothe, Ohio, tank broker, is offering one for $387,000.
The good news is that they report that prices have recently dropped or flattened. So if you can’t find an AR at your local gun shop, you may be able to find a slightly discounted tank. They note that while tanks aren’t street legal, owners often get flexibility from authorities to take it to the gas station or drive it in parades.
I think the best part of the story is at the end. One of the tank owners reported that he took it out for a drive in his warehouse parking lot to play with a special propane setup he has to generate just the noise and muzzle flash for the machine gun on top. Needless to say, someone called the cops. The first officer asked if the owner knew why they were there. The second – well:
The second policeman, Jeremy Marshall, got out of his car and eyeballed Mr. Bauer’s tank. “Awesome,” he said.
And this is why we win. Because it is awesome. Go read the entire article because I didn’t cover nearly all of the good stuff. Plus, there’s a slideshow and video.