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Too Many Windows

Clearly we need to do more to restrict access to windows:

New research finds that nearly 5,200 kids are treated in an emergency department each year after falling from a window. That’s 14 kids a day, according to a study published Monday in the journalĀ Pediatrics.

We’ve allowed these dangerous devices to infect society for entirely too long. They must be restricted. It’s common sense. For the children.

6 Responses to “Too Many Windows”

  1. North says:

    Restricting access to windows would be a pane.

  2. Jake says:

    We just need better screening before people can buy them, that’s all.

  3. Sterling Archer says:

    I submit that we have no individual right to own a window. Window ownership is clearly a collective right.

    Further, in order to own a window you must show good cause and all windows in your house must be registered every 3 years. If your Window Owner ID card (WOID) expires you will be arrested immediately for illegal possession of windows.

    Of course law enforcement is exempt from all these requirements because they are the “Only Ones” who can be trusted with windows.

  4. Tam says:

    Windows that open also make it harder to insulate a building and therefore increase its carbon footprint.

  5. Jake says:

    The only purpose for window registration is eventual confiscation. I can see right through it.

    I shutter to think of the shades of tyranny this would open us up to.

  6. Spade says:

    On my way to work they talked about this on the radio (WTOP for DC people).

    And, yeah, half the time we spent talking about how we apparently need laws to restrict second floor windows from opening more than 4 inches.

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