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Buy a Toy Gun for Your Kid, Police will Shoot Him

Police officials in the UK have started a new public awareness campaign.

Parents are being warned by police not to buy their children realistic looking toy guns this Christmas as it could lead to them being shot by armed marksmen.

And Happy Holidays to you, too! I’m so glad to hear that the warmth of the Christmas season is prefaced with a threat from the police that if you buy your child a toy firearm, you may be condemning him or her to a death sentence. Even better, the gun control supporter quoted in the article agrees!

First, the police:

“People are increasingly aware of the potential for firearms in our midst and, quite rightly, call us whenever they see something resembling a gun. Whether this gun is an air weapon, BB gun or genuine firearm, our response is the same.

“While they are legal to own, parents must ask themselves whether it’s really appropriate for children to have these guns. If they do, they must learn to use them responsibly. We cannot have situations where innocent members of the public are injured by missiles they or we fire.”

I almost don’t know where to begin. So armed response units are the first response to a report of a 6-year-old with a toy? Second, why do their BB guns fire missiles? Third, why are the cops there so under-trained with their guns that their spokesman simply assumes they will miss a target and kill innocent bystanders?

And then let us go back to the comment that it is right to call the police anytime you see someone with anything that resembles a gun as opposed to someone simply with a gun. If that’s the case, I guess I should have called the cops when my nephew used to eat his bread into the shape of a gun. Or how about when he took his finger & thumb to pretend to shoot at things around him? That “handgun” (get it?) was awfully dangerous with its shape fitting that of some pocket pistols.

How far do we take this insanity? I ask that not because I’m reading this wrong and the police are only warning against people who paint their obviously toy guns to look like real ones. The police are asking parent not to buy any gun-shaped toy – whether it’s a clear purple water gun or an orange BB gun. They already have laws against realistic-looking guns, but police are now asking citizens to go further. It just shows that fears of a slippery slope are not unfounded.

While a civil liberties group rightly calls this a phantom problem, Mothers Against Murder & Aggression say there is no other way to deal with this manufactured issue.

“If a child is waving a toy gun around in the street police have no choice but to turn up with an armed response unit.”

Really? No other way at all? You mean to say that a child carrying this menacing Super Soaker justifies the use of a SWAT team? Although I suppose that the mad Mothers may find the particular model to be particularly threatening since it minimizes the need for going home to refill & you are only limited in your shots by how many bottles you can carry.

4 Responses to “Buy a Toy Gun for Your Kid, Police will Shoot Him”

  1. Stan McQueen says:

    “…why do their BB guns fire missiles?”

    “Missile” doesn’t imply “rocket.” From http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/missile: “an object (as a weapon) thrown or projected usually so as to strike something at a distance ”

    We don’t normally use the word in that sense in American English, but it is common in British English.

    • Bitter says:

      Yes, I was aware. I was attempting to make a subtle joke there considering the context was a man who believes that there is nothing out of the ordinary to dispatch armed teams to deal with children playing cops & robbers with toy guns. Believe it or not, I actually know that there are differences in meanings of various words between American & British English. Hell, I even survived trip there.

  2. NJSoldier says:

    I remember visiting the UK in the 80’s before it became a fascist police state. Margaret Thatcher was PM, the police didn’t carry guns and didn’t threaten to kill six-year-olds. It was damn nice.

  3. snoopycomputer says:

    Well, there HAS been the instance of this deadly super soaker:
    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=super+soaker+shotgun&sourceid=navclient-ff&rlz=1B5GGGL_enUS296US296&ie=UTF-8

    Speaking of super soaker, those can be converted into flame throwers! :D
    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&rlz=1B5GGGL_enUS296US296&q=super+soaker+flame+thrower&aq=f&oq=&aqi=g-s1g-ms1
    YEE HAAA! Just mind the whole blowing-yourself-up possibility.

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