I am. I think I am sufficiently sauced. What I’m going to be on the lookout for is whether he brings up gun control. Last year he certainly did. They got their vote and they lost. Will he want to expend political capital on gun control this year? We shall see. I’ll update if he says anything worth noting.
UPDATE: Gabby Giffords and Mark Kelly will be releasing a new ad during SOTU, but will the President back them up with rhetoric of his own?
9:21: He still hasn’t said anything yet. I mean anything. Not just about gun control. Blah blah blah blah.
9:23: Everyone looks dour. Even the progressive Dems don’t seem to have the energy for Obama. Even Michelle looks clinically depressed.
9:23: The death of upward mobility! Well, not like you’re helping with that any, asshole.
9:24: He’ll expand opportunity for American families, even if it means having to become a dictator!
9:28: I’m pretty sure I could code something up to write Obama speeches at this point. This is objectively bad. He’s saying everything short of “shovel ready.” It’s like every Obama speech is a compilation of every other Obama speech. I thought Bush was bad in this regard.
9:31: The federal government is responsible for Google and the iPhone, according to President Obama! There’s nothing the .gov can’t do!
9:32: I actually agree with the President on patent reform. This is a rare occurrence for me to agree with anything he has to say.
9:34: Man, this whole Congress could use some Prozac. I think they’re all clinically depressed.
9:35: “Fuels of the future.” Unicorn farts, apparently.
9:37: Fixing our “broken immigration system” is the only thing that seems to make Democrats not be clinically depressed.
9:38: Dick Dubrin seems to be the only asshole that still gets a hard on from Obama’s speeches. He’s smiling like a squirrel in a nuthouse.
9:40: He’s commanded Joe Biden to find everyone who needs a job the training they need to get a job. I’m guessing that’s going to keep him too busy to lobby for more gun control.
9:41: Restoring unemployment animates the Democrats briefly again…. or maybe not… that died out quickly… second try for that applause line just doesn’t quite do it. Back to clinical depression.
9:43: This is the most depressed I’ve ever seen Congress at a SOTU. Both sides. Even the Republicans can’t get a good boo going. What’ worth booing? It’s just dreck.
9:46: We’re spending all kinds of money and not adding any to the deficit, according to the President. I wish my finances could work like that! Education is an investment! Yeah, I’m still making student loan payments to prove it, and I am turning 40 soon.
9:49: We’re getting all war-on-women now, but it’s all “war on their wallets” and not their girly parts.
9:52: Now we’re on minimum wage, because there’s no downside to anything. Money just farts out of the backside of the unicorn. This from a guy who’s never had to meet a payroll in his life.
9:54: MyIRA? MyRA? I don’t know what he’s talking about. Turns out my namesake family are Ulster Scotts. I don’t support the IRA, sorry.
9:56: Obamacare is helping real people, according to the President. Well, for us real people, it’s made insurance on the individual market unaffordable, whereas it was previously. Thanks, dude!
9:58: Democrats are as animated as I’ve seen them tonight in cheering Obamacare, which has done nothing except make insurance unaffordable and push more people off the insurance roles. Keep cheering. Yes, keep cheering. America is increasingly recognizing this turd for what it is.
9:59: He wants us all to get covered by March 31st! Well, you know, when you charge twice as much for crappier coverage, you can f**k right the hell off. We’re not going to play his game in our house. At least he’s not repeating the lie, “If you like your plan you can keep it!”
10:01: Citizenship is being anti-gun! He’s talking about gun control! “I intend to keep trying, with or without congress….” to shit on our rights as Americans. I’ll get more detail on this section of the speech shortly.
10:03: We’re on to our troops now. Well, that’s some dedication to gun control right there. Didn’t even get two minutes of the President’s time in a longwinded, empty speech. Now he’s talking about how we’re not actually losing in Afghanistan.
10:08: “We have to close the prison at Guantamo!” Wasn’t this a campaign promise in 2008? Five SOTUs later and he’s still making promises about closing Guantamo? Does anyone think this is serious a this point?
10:13: Apparently Iran better never build a nuclear bomb, or Obama will write them another strongly worded letter, saying just how angry he is.
Well, that’s all she wrote. I’ve haven’t witnessed such a low key, depressed SOTU for some time. Shannon Watts and Bloomberg got a whole one minute or so of an hour and five minute speech. Yeah, I don’t think the gun control folks have much to celebrate from this.