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Situational Awareness

I discovered my situational awareness is a bit better than Bitter’s.  One Thai restaurant we like to go to is found in a mostly vacant, out of the way shopping plaza in Newtown.  Approaching the restaurant, I notice two other vehicles out front, one with Pennsylvania tags, and an early model Ford Explorer with New Jersey tags.  We park behind the Explorer.  Go in to the place, and find two other couples there.  Not unexpected or unusual, since this doesn’t tend to be a busy place on a Sunday.

Bitter and I go in, enjoy our Spicy Drunken Noodle (with chicken).  In the mean time, couple one leaves.  Couple two, who were sitting rather cozily next to each other at the table also leaves, but gives me a funny and not entirely friendly look on the way out.  Enough to make me think “Jesus woman, what did I do to deserve the evil eye?”

Bitter and I take about 20 minutes to finish our meal.  On the way out I notice that New Jersey tagged Explorer is still in the parking lot, and the engine is running.  Condition orange.  Something is not right with this picture.  We’re the only other ones in the parking lot, and they left the restaurant 20 minutes ago.  Had the Kel-Tec in the jacket pocket.  Put my hand in my pocket just in case.  I figure that maybe they had too much to drink, and are waiting to feel OK to drive. Understandable.  But I didn’t notice a bottle on their table (it’s a BYOB), evil eye, our car the only other one around, so yeah… condition orange.

As we approached the Explorer, I heard the soft din of Bryan Adams “Heaven”.  A little closer, and noticed the vehicle shaking a bit.  At this point my eyes are fixated on the windo …. holy beast with two backs batman, those two are going at it like a couple of crazed spider monkeys.  I mean, how does that go?  “Come on baby, the food was hot, you are hot, and the massaman curry just makes me too crazy.  I can’t wait to get home!  I must have you now.”  Back to condition yellow.  Evil eye was because they wanted to get all Evil Jungle Princess in the back seat, and we created a problem for their plans when we arrived.

I am not one to call the cops for something like that.  We were the only other people around, and while I generally tend to think you should be done sex in the back of a car, in a public parking lot, by the time you’re, say, 16, if I had called the cops, it would be for the sin for being from New Jersey, and in my state, playing Bryan Adams at a decible level where I could hear it.  But it’s a useful lesson in observing what’s going on around you.

Get in the car, turn on the headlights and drive off.  Noticed that the movement inside and outside stopped when the headlights went on.  I hope they both managed to finish after our rude interruption.  Nonetheless, I think I will have to talk to my new state rep about making it illegal to play Bryan Adams loudly while being from New Jersey.  We need to have decent standards for public behavior in this state.

17 Responses to “Situational Awareness”

  1. I hear ya.

    It should be illegal to play Bryan Adams at ANY audible level. Even in NJ.

    Maybe I should contact Frank.

  2. David says:

    Dude. People actually call the cops on folks just for doin’ it in their car? That’s unheard of here in California.

    Now, if they didn’t allow you to preserve the moment on your camcorder, you might be justified….

  3. Sebastian says:

    People in the northeast are more uptight about that kind of thing.

  4. Melvin McDowell says:

    What’s with the use of the name of Jesus as an expletive? Are you interested in discouraging Christians from reading your blog?

  5. Sebastian says:

    I am not, but nor am I interested in catering to your sensibilities. I didn’t mean anything by it. I do not move in circles of people who would be offended by such a thing. It was not meant to be offensive.

  6. Allen says:

    Ah ha ha ha ha ha, that’s hilarious.

  7. Justin Buist says:

    Thanks for reminding me of my last job.

    The office was in a pretty run down area of town and while working with the guys up on the 2nd floor somebody noticed that a car in the parking lot across the street, our parking lot, had two people doing the deed in the car.

    Broad daylight, around noon, and there were probably 50-60 other cars in the parking lot.

    Of course, it wasn’t uncommon to come into the office on Monday and find broken liquor bottles, condoms, tampons, and various other things at the doorstep.

    I miss the job and the people I worked with some days, but I certainly don’t miss that location!

  8. Link P says:

    Props to you, Sebastian, for catching the vibe that something was amiss. Props again for not calling the heat on a couple releasing their biological calling in a ‘not as private as they had hoped’ spot. (Get a room?)

    I can’t really argue with you about the Brian Adams, although if they had “gotten a room,” it would have hopefully contained their bad taste in music.

    Melvin, please take it in stride. Not everyone thinks the word “Jesus” is sacred, or an even an expletive. Most of us that don’t regard it as either would defend your right to hold the word sacred, as long as you didn’t force your view upon us.

    Believe me when I say that I am definitely not Christian, but if you are and you truly understand and endorse the Second Amendment, I appreciate and welcome that from you. I will certainly do my utmost to not actively ridicule your religious beliefs, regardless of my opinion of them.

    Please understand that my efforts to not ridicule your religious beliefs do not include altering my belief that Jesus was merely some politically unpopular fellow that was nailed to some sticks a little a little over two hundred years ago. While I may not believe exactly as the Jews do, they feel the same way about Jesus as I do. To us (me & the Jews), he was certainly not God, or the son of God, or anything else but a man that was crucified by the Romans. Please take the First Amendment into your heart and place it next to the Second Amendment.

    Your spiritual beliefs are certainly valid, as your own, but they are not representative of all that would defend you in a moment of crisis, so I would ask that you learn to follow Jesus’ word, and turn the other cheek when you see religious opinions that offend of your particular sensibilities when you choose to live in a free world that includes many that do not believe as you do.

    It’s a two way street, Melvin. I will have your Christian back, when you have my “J.R. Bob Dobbs”, or “Flying Spaghetti Monster” loving back. If you can’t look out for my back, regardless of my religious beliefs, how can I reciprocate if you turn your back on me?

    Some of the heathens are not all bad. (Most of us, actually). So I would ask that you don’t cop an attitude, and learn to tune out what you find as profane. If you feel that certain words are not appropriate for your disciples, but the idea contained within the message is valid for them, write your own blog, and rephrase that which you find good, so that others may not have to suffer that which you find profane, but the ideas which you obviously endorse will still reach your people.

  9. Wolfwood says:

    Sorry to go down the rabbit trail, but a reader complaining to a blogger about the use of certain words isn’t a First Amendment issue any more than it would be a Second Amendment issue if Sebastian were visiting the guy’s house and the guy asked him not to carry a gun while there. There’s no government involvement (not even indirectly), and so the First and Second amendments aren’t in play.

  10. Melvin McDowell says:

    It seems to me that the completely gratuitous use of the name of Jesus in a manner likely to be found offensive to Christians is not wise in building coalitions for the protection of 2nd Amendment rights. Why would one want to unnecessarily offend someone who was otherwise inclined to be their ally?

  11. Sebastian says:

    Melvin:

    I’m not going to police my language because someone, somewhere, might be offended. It was use of slang. I meant nothing by it. I know plenty of Christian folks who would not use that slang, but who also wouldn’t jump down my throat for using it either.

  12. Melvin McDowell says:

    OK. You don’t mind offending Christians. I guess we are all clear on that. Thanks for the clarification. Do you take the same position toward offending Muslims?

  13. Sebastian says:

    I take the same position toward anybody.

  14. I’d be all for banning anyone from NJ from driving. Ever.

  15. Bitter says:

    Honestly, I’ve never heard of anyone so sensitive about it, Melvin. You’re not the only Christian or soco on this site, and no one else has mentioned it. Just turn the other cheek and remember that sometimes you’ll have to compromise on who you coalition with as well.

  16. Clint says:

    “It seems to me that the completely gratuitous use of the name of Jesus in a manner likely to be found offensive to Christians is not wise in building coalitions for the protection of 2nd Amendment rights. Why would one want to unnecessarily offend someone who was otherwise inclined to be their ally? “

    Because most Christians are not nearly uptight enough to be offended over a commonly used expression. And those “Christians” who are that sensitive wouldn’t be joining any “coalition” anyway because NO ONE else could live up to their standards.

    As a Christian myself, I find your behavior insulting. FIRST, you make all of us look like whiny fools because your argument is based on the notion that all Christians should be offended. And SECOND, you are being a whiny fool just like those liberals who are aggressively against religion. The ones who cry out when ever someone (other than the president-elect) expresses his beliefs in public and try to make others feel “wrong” for saying “Merry Christmas.” We are supposed to say “Happy Holidays” right? Well, my happy holiday is Christmas.

    So Merry Christmas everybody. :)

  17. E. Zach Lee-Wright says:

    I notice New Jersey is one of only two states where people are unable to pump their own gas. It has to tell you something when a state thinks so little of their residents… btw, Oregon is the other state. Oh, where I live we pump our own gas and yesterday (12-08-08) I filled up for $1.43 per gallon. Gotta love it and my .50 Barrett. “I’m from Jersey” might as well be “I’m from Germany”. Stupid laws, stupid state. E. Zach Lee-Wright

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  1. Justin Buist » Blog Archive » Situational Awareness - [...] Sebastian has an amusing story on the matter. [...]
  2. SayUncle » Crazed Spider Monkeys - [...] Careful, they’re everywhere. [...]
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