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It’s Not the Size of Your Knife …

… it’s the size of your sausage.  I can see the confrontation with law enforcement now:

Cop: “Sir, I notice you’re carrying a knife.  Do you have a sausage on you?”

Me: “Why yes, and I can assure you, it’s of sufficient size and variety.”

Cop: “I’ll have to ask you to show me the sausage.”

Me: “What, right here on the street?”

Cop: “If it’s of the size and variety to justify you having that knife, then you have nothing to worry about sir.”

Me: “Oh, it’s big enough alright.  A might bit larger than most people carry, I’d wager.  When it comes to sausages, I only carry around the best.”

Cop: “Well, they say it doesn’t matter how big it is, it’s what you do with it, and what you do with it better be cutting it up, or I’m taking you in for that knife.”

A fallen empire, indeed.  And it’s a pity, I think.

UPDATE: Bonus reaction from cop “Don’t play hide the salami with me sir!  Let’s see it.”

4 Responses to “It’s Not the Size of Your Knife …”

  1. BobG says:

    Which is best for concealed carry, soppresatta, salami, or chorizo?

  2. BobG- that would be spicy capocollo, sir. Hard enough to use as a club, with a pleasant flavor and aroma that’s a joy to behold.

  3. Alcibiades McZombie says:

    Just your friendly neighborhood medical student with a need to practice her circumcision skills.

  4. B Smith says:

    I have a pretty modest sausage. But I compensate with a very large firearm :-D

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